Infertility treatment has come a very long way in the past 25 years. Yet many unresolved questions and undetectable variables still interfere with conception. One of these variables is stress. By learning some coping skills, IVF treatment will be less stressful. When you are calm, you can follow the directions of your doctor as prescribed as you juggle IVF, work and home responsibilities. When you feel in control, you will be able to cope with the stress of IVF in a healthier way. These suggestions can help you regain a sense of control during IVF treatment.
If you feel anxious about IVF:
Practice positive thinking and positive self-talk. Soothing words like, ‘just take one step at a time’ can help keep you on track. To reduce anxiety, choose your IVF treatment team carefully. Make sure you feel comfortable with your reproductive endocrinologist (RE). For instance, does your doctor answer your questions in a supportive manner? Does your clinic have strong IVF success rates?
If you are afraid that IVF treatment will fail:
Reduce your fear of failure by framing your first IVF treatment cycle as diagnostic. If it is not successful, realize that subsequent IVF cycles will involve perfecting your medication and treatment protocol to optimize your chance of success.
If IVF treatment seems confusing:
Educate yourself. Knowledge can help you feel in control. Learn about the IVF process you will undergo, and both the potential success and disappointments you may encounter along the way.
If you don't like the idea of hormonal treatment for IVF:
Talk to your doctor. Ask him or her about available research on both the short and long term risks of hormonal IVF treatments.
If you are scared of needles:
Get help from a cognitive behavioral therapist. He or she can help you to overcome this fear.
If you need to talk about your fears:
Find a mental health professional that can offer emotional support. Or, consider joining a support group with others who understand the IVF treatment process. Supporting others, even when you feel so in need of support yourself, can be very empowering, as it reminds you of the strength of your own inner resources in facing adversity. Studies show that women attending therapy groups are more likely to get pregnant than others.
If you are grieving the inability to naturally conceive a child:
Use your head to help you cope. The way in which we think about anything that we experience determines how we will feel about it. While we cannot choose our external circumstances, how we choose to react and respond in any given situation is the one thing over which we can always have control.
If infertility makes YOU feel like a failure:
Compartmentalize your reproductive self from the rest of who you are. When treatment fails, it doesn't make you a failure. If you are following the recommendations of your RE and maintaining healthy self-care, you are doing everything right. Mind/body therapy groups can be helpful as you learn to cope more effectively with stress. Ask your therapist about relaxation, meditation, breathing and positive thinking techniques.
If financing IVF seems impossible:
Map out the emotional and financial costs associated with multiple low tech vs. high tech treatments. This will give you a clearer understanding of what lies ahead so that you can be better prepared. You may decide to undergo one more intrauterine insemination (IUI) cycle, and if that doesn’t work, you will consider moving on to IVF treatment. Consider if you have the option of undergoing more than one IVF cycle if your first cycle is not successful. If IVF doesn't work for you, would you consider other alternatives to family building?
If your friends and family want to help:
Screen your family and friends. Who do you find to be understanding, nonjudgmental, and supportive? Let these individuals know when you need help and support. Inform them that this may change from day to day during your treatment. Thus, they may need to look to you for guidance as to what your needs are on any particular day.
If you feel depressed:
Learn stress management and relaxation techniques. New or unfamiliar situations tend to make people feel anxious. Women undergoing fertility treatment often have these feelings – you’re not alone. Techniques like diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, and visualization can help you manage your emotional reactions to your IVF cycle. These techniques may not guarantee a pregnancy, but they may reduce any emotional distress. Some women may become clinically depressed during IVF treatment, which may require professional mental health treatment. Talk to your doctor if you think you need professional help.
This content is Copyright The American Fertility Association (AFA) 2010. This content is intended for personal use and may not be distributed or reproduced without AFA consent. Please contact info@theafa.org or visit theafa.org for more information.
Sources: American Fertility Association. Emotional and Psychological Obstacles to IVF; http://theafa.org/site_images/library/Emotional_Obstacles_to_IVF.pdf
