How to Cope with Recurrent Miscarriages

The loss of two or more pregnancies is called recurrent pregnancy loss or recurrent miscarriage. The loss of a pregnancy hurts deeply, like no other pain, but you can achieve fertility after miscarriage. Take good care of your physical and emotional health and remember that most women with recurrent pregnancy loss do eventually give birth to healthy infants.

Get healthy
One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, making it quite common. But few women (only about 1 in 20) have two miscarriages in a row. If you have had several miscarriages, a medical condition is probably to blame. But health risks, like smoking and exposure to toxins, can also cause fertility problems. Here are some health goals to help you feel better and prepare your body for fertility after miscarriage:

  1. Do all the "right" things: exercise daily, eat a healthy diet, quit smoking, and limit your alcohol and caffeine intake. Take a multivitamin with folic acid daily.
  2. Reduce your exposure to environmental chemicals and toxins.
  3. Avoid heavy lifting, strenuous physical exercise, or dangerous contact sports.
  4. Keep your stress level low and participate in mind/body activities like yoga or thai chi.
  5. Maintain a healthy relationship with your partner, including sexual relations. (Sex does not cause miscarriages!) When you are both feeling up to it, talk to your doctor to find out when you can try to get pregnant again.

If you haven't visited a fertility specialist to talk about your recurrent miscarriages, make an appointment now. When you see your doctor, discuss your health and lifestyle habits and ask questions about fertility after miscarriage.

Talk about your feelings
Along with getting physically healthy, you must also get emotionally healthy. If the stress and sadness of recurrent miscarriage has got you down, seek support. A counselor or psychologist can help you get in touch with your feelings, learn better ways to communicate with your partner, and cope with the difficult emotions that accompany pregnancy loss. As you cope with your loss, we offer these tips:

  • Do not be ashamed by your grief. Grief is a normal and healthy part of life.
  • Talk about your feelings. Rather than suppress your feelings, acknowledge them and work through them.
  • Consider joining a RESOLVE support group to meet other women trying to achieve fertility after miscarriage.

If you find that your relationship with your partner becomes strained by recurrent miscarriage, seek help. Invite your partner to join you in your counseling sessions if he is willing.

Men and women cope differently
Men and women often choose to cope with hardships in different ways. While you may want to talk about every feeling you have regarding recurrent pregnancy loss, your partner may avoid the topic completely. You may like to seek help from others, but your partner may work though his or her feelings alone. This does not mean that they  aren’t hurting; they may just have a different style of grieving. Respect their space and let themm grieve alone if he or she desires.

Miscarriage: Can you prevent it?
If you experience recurrent miscarriages, be proactive. Like many women, you may feel desperate to learn whether you will ever regain your fertility after miscarriage. Your doctor can help. Ask your doctor about fertility testing for recurrent miscarriage. He or she can screen you for medical disorders that cause miscarriage and offer treatments to boost your fertility. Take care of yourself after recurrent miscarriage. It is emotionally intense but rest assured that it does not make you infertile.

This content is Copyright The American Fertility Association (AFA) 2011. This content is intended for personal use and may not be distributed or reproduced without AFA consent. Please contact info@theafa.org or visit theafa.org for more information.

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