Coping with Infertility on Mother's Day
Mother's Day. If you are dealing with fertility problems, these two words may hang heavy on your heart each year when the second weekend of May rolls around. While you pour your energy into caring for your own mother on this special day, you quietly ache inside. Here is our Mother's Day infertility support guide to help you get through.
Take care of yourself first
If you've ever flown on an airplane, you've heard the attendant say, "Put an oxygen mask on yourself before placing it on someone else." The reason? You must take care of yourself first before you can take care of anybody else. As Mother's day approaches, take care of yourself first. If your family and friends truly care about you and respect you, they will understand why you need extra infertility support right now.
Don't go it alone
While many women share stories about their fertility problems openly, others may want to keep them private. Are you one of those private souls? Have you ever sat down with your mother and really shared your story with her? It's possible that she may be able to help you heal some of your heartache. Even if you feel alone in your grief, you may be surprised to find a listening ear, an open heart, and someone who really does care. You may be afraid to release your story and your pain with others, but it can sometimes bring relief. And, you are building infertility awareness. If your mom is calm and nurturing, share your story without fear. If your mom is not the nurturing type, consider sharing your story with a friend, your partner, or with a therapist. Rather than grieve solo on Mother's Day, let someone else help you carry the pain, and then release it.
Getting through the big day
Many people enjoy the good feelings that come with helping others. If you have the energy to focus on your mother, mother-in-law, or another special mother in your life, it could help you forget about your fertility problems for a while. If this is the case, celebrate with your loved ones and shower them with affection. If you don't feel like celebrating, and a Mother's Day event is unavoidable, ask your partner, sister, or another person to be your infertility support person. Let them know that you are feeling sensitive and raw. If your emotions get the best of you at a Mother's Day gathering, take a breather. Show your support for Mom, and then leave early.
Heal with humor
When all else fails, remember the healing power of laughter. Let your friends and family know that you are in a bit of a sad phase right now. Ask them to help you cheer up by taking you out for some lighthearted fun. Consider the following:
- Go to a comedy club and see a comedian live on stage.
- Rent a funny movie and have a movie night with some girlfriends.
- If you have a DVR, keep funny TV shows on the rotation. Whenever you need a good laugh, ask your partner to watch a show with you, or just watch it alone and laugh out loud.
If comedy isn't your thing, keep a short list of favorite indulgences handy. Take advantage of them every year when Mother's Day rolls around. Treat yourself to one of the following, splurge a little, and focus on feeling good. Here are some popular choices:
- Shopping spree
- Weekend trip to a favorite destination
- Manicure and pedicure
- Sports event
- Reading at a coffee shop
What makes you smile? The options are unlimited! And don't forget the importance of friends and family. A strong infertility support network can help you maintain your mental and physical health.
Get infertility support
If you haven't located an infertility support group near you, consider checking out RESOLVE's list of support groups. In an infertility support group, members can comfort each other, share tips and ideas, and offer a safe place to cry it out. If you can't find an infertility support group near you, ask a counselor about women's therapy groups that offer similar sustenance.
Learn more about finding infertility support on Mother's Day.Sources