Need help in coping with infertility? Infertility is a common diagnosis today among millions of couples.
While stress doesn’t appear to cause infertility, infertility often increased emotional stress. In fact, many couples rate in vitro fertilization (IVF) as one of the biggest stressors in their lives.
By learning stress management skills, taking care of yourself and considering professional therapy, you can start to feel in control when coping with infertility.
Coping with infertility grief
Grief is common when coping with infertility. Each negative pregnancy test registers as a loss deep inside your core.
To get help coping with infertility, start by talking to your doctor, especially if you are feeling depressed or anxious. If the emotional stress is overwhelming or prevents you from participating in normal daily activities, contact a mental health professional for help.
Some fertility clinics have onsite counselors who are experts in issues that arise when coping with infertility. A therapist or counselor can help you gain control of your feelings, learn new ways of dealing with problems, and help you make difficult treatment decisions.
Seek support from others
If you feel that no one can possibly understand what you are going through, consider joining a support group for women or couples coping with infertility where you can share your experiences with others and learn from their experiences, too. Hearing their stories can help you find new solutions to current problems. Your self-esteem can improve as new ideas emerge.
Seek counseling as a couple
Infertility is often an issue for two people, not one. Coping with infertility can either strengthen your bond with your partner or destroy it. Deciding to pursue sperm or egg donation, for instance, can bring up a lot of different emotions.
If you and your partner argue a lot during this time, set up rules about how and when to discuss difficult topics. Make an appointment with your partner, make sure you are both calm, and set a time limit on the discussion.
You might want to consider couples counseling to communicate better. If scheduling intercourse around your fertile time and taking hormone medications has zapped your libido, get help.
Decide when and how to socialize
Couples coping with infertility often dread certain social events. Attending a friend’s baby shower or seeing your brother’s children may trigger painful emotions. Feel free to set boundaries that protect yourself from these emotions.
For example, if coping with infertility is difficult, set a limit for spending time in situations that may upset you. Be prepared for well-intentioned, but potentially upsetting questions. When others ask about your family plans, decide how much information you want to share. If you feel your emotions are out of control, change the subject or feel free to cut the conversation short.
Soothe yourself with relaxation and self-care
To counteract the negative health effects of stress, learn meditation or progressive muscle relaxation. Learning these relaxation methods can help when coping with infertility, like staying calm during uncomfortable medical procedures.
Exercising regularly, eating right, and getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep will help you feel your best each day. Try massage therapy, chiropractic care or acupuncture to help when coping with infertility. And, these positive complementary medicine interventions may even increase your chances of conceiving.
Seek professional help
How do you deal with feelings of stress, frustration, and sadness when coping with infertility? Many opportunities can help you during this time.
Empower yourself by learning all you can about infertility and its treatments, and seek help when tough emotions arise from coping with infertility.
Sources: American Pregnancy Association. “Working through the emotions of infertility,” American Society of Reproductive Medicine “Infertility Counseling and Support: When and Where to Find it” “If you are having trouble conceiving, speak with someone who can help,” IntegraMed Fertility Network “Yoga and Fertility. Can Yoga help Infertility Treatments?” International Council on Infertility Information Dissemination, Inc “Preparing for IVF: Emotional Considerations,” O’Rourke, M. From The New Yorker “Good Grief,” Resolve “Benefits of Joining a Support Group” “When Couples Disagree” “Tips for coping with the holidays” “Coping Techniques” “Relaxation and Stress Management for Infertile Women” “Stressed for Success,”
